When doubt comes knocking
We say we believe. But believe what? We believe Jesus, yes. So why do we doubt then? If we doubt, does this make us unbelievers? Hypocrites?
Some days it sure feels like it! Doesn't it?
In the book of Mark, it is written that a man came up to Jesus and asked him to heal his son. The man specifically asked Jesus IF he can help him. Jesus responded, "'If you can’? All things are possible for one who believes”.
Jesus emphasized the "If you can", as if to say, "Of course I can, but WILL I, is the question". And, "Will you believe that I will"?
The man replied, "I believe; help my unbelief"!
Do you ever doubt? Do you ever not believe?
Liar
If you say you don't doubt as a "believer", then you are a liar. We all doubt, but does this unbelief disqualify us from being a child of God?
James says, "6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways".
Boy, it sure sounds like James is dumping us like an old stale doughnut. He doesn't seem to leave any room for doubt? So what is a doubter like me to do? I'm definitely NOT going to James' church!
Just have faith ← That's a cliché
'Believe' is just another word for 'faith'. 'Doubt' is just another way of saying that we lack 'faith', or lack belief. 'Believe' tends to sound so concrete, while we understand 'faith' to vary in degrees.
In Romans Paul said this about faith, "according to the measure of faith that God has assigned".
In Luke we find this, "5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”[Insert, "Help my unbelief"] 6 And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you".
So what?
"Okay", you say, "but you haven't helped me with anything yet. What does this have to do with anything"?
Calm down, tough guy, I'm getting there!
August 14, 2003
Our first daughter, Lily, was born on August 14, 2003. By this time, at age 32, I had been a Believer for exactly three years. Little Lily was born with Cerebral Palsy. She is mentally as sharp as a tack, but her right arm and her legs don't work properly. You know, she didn't walk until she was six.
Do you realize how heavy a six year old is!? I had to carry her all the time---six year olds are heavy! Trust me!
Cried like a baby
When Lily was born and the doctor told us she probably wouldn't live, I went in the hospital bathroom and just lost it. Now, I'm not a crier. I was a crier when I was a little boy, and I had worked hard to suppress the tears for years, but on this day--with this news, I just lost it. I didn't want anyone to see me--even my wife--so I ducked into the bathroom. I think this was the first time in my life I had ever had compassion for anyone but myself. I cried a lot that month. But that is a whole other awesome God story. God is Awesome!
Lord, help my unbelief
Flash forward to when Lily was about six or seven years old. We had begun regular family bible study and had, more than once, come to sections where someone was healed. We always had good discussions about how God heals, and told Lily that maybe God would heal her some day.
We never prayed though.
We never asked.
We doubted.
We did not believe!
We did believe that God does heal, but really, we didn't think He would do it for us.
Back in James he also says this, "2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions".
We never even asked! But things were going to change. Lord, help our unbelief.
So what is your 'Lily'?
We have been praying about Lily for about seven years now. Our faith fluctuates, but ultimately we always trust God. He knows what He is doing. Our faith has steadily increased the more we ask. "Lord, increase our faith".
What about you? What are you doubting about? That marriage? That child? That direction in life? Using your gifts that God has given you? That cancer? So few people coming to Christ? Your job?There are so many things. What are you doubting about?
Just ask. Don't doubt.
God may have other plans that we don't know about, but just ask anyway. He is your Father and He wants to hear your desires. All fathers, while knowing what their kids need, love to hear their requests. If our kids didn't ask us for things, we'd assume there was a strain on our relationship. We would think there was a problem. It's the same with our Father. He wants to hear from us. Ask Him to help your unbelief. He will do it. Ask Him to increase your faith.
Check out this beautiful performance
Open the Eyes of my Heart, by blind autistic boy.
I have experienced three profound moments of faith in my life. Three moments where I was shown, my Lily Moment. 1. My Grandmother came to me in a vision while I was suffering from a very poor decision I had made. She told me life was ready to go to the next level. In the vision she could not tell me what was going to happen, but the time would present itself to me. A week later I found my self going forward at church to be give my life to the Lord. My body was moved to do so, by my own accord but yet my mind knew the time had arrived. 2. The second was after I had destroyed my home in a rage from learning both of my sons had A genetic disorder and Autism. When the smoke cleared I realized hat God had molded me for 35 years. He had laid down my path to be ready to not only be a parent to one special needs child, but to two. This is a part of my faith I treasure the most. God knew "I" could handle it. He knew "MY" path that he created for me. And he knew that through "ME" and my experiences of life, I could be that man. Lastly, I was shown the last measure of belief when going through a divorce, the power of God's plan. I was arrested and charged with a DUI. When the smoke cleared I remembered the feeling I got when I worked at a local cowboy church. The feeling the members gave me when I worked at that place, was a sense of hop, forgiveness and acceptance. I went there to find my soul. And that is what occurred. Every week I was in attendance. Every sermon was directed at myself. Within a few months I was lead again to make the commitment of faith and to be baptized in a horse trough. Upon going to court for my crime I was told that due to an event with the arresting officer, my case was dismissed. I found amazing grace that day from God and I will never forget that.
ReplyDeleteThe common bond all three episodes share s, often I forgot, but God didn't forget me. His path is great and wondrous. As a human I have to remember I am foul-able. I am one who must practice to maintain myself. You can't get FAITH and just keep it. It has to be maintained, strengthened and most importantly, remembered.
Chris Willis
DeleteGod is good--always. Thanks for adding that testimony!
DeleteThank you for allowing my mind to maintain :)
DeleteI cannot help but think of this famous quote:
ReplyDelete“Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
Indeed.
DeleteI always have to read the Screwtape letters about five times till I can grasp the truth because of the opposite language effect.
"We did believe that God does heal, but really, we didn't think He would do it for us"
ReplyDeleteThis describes my thoughts on many occasions. I know God can heal, can do so many things. I have absolutely no doubt about that. But I do have doubts on whether he will heal or do other things. Ultimately, I have to realize that God has a larger plan that is focused on bringing glory to himself. I am not the focus. There are times when our prayers and what we ask for in faith do align with God's larger plan for himself, and he adds those things to the blessings he is giving, and there are times when they do not. That shouldn't cause doubt for me, but should cause me to worship more and throw myself more into his mercy and grace, because he does have a perfect plan that is continually being executed to bring glory to himself. Not to mention the whole other area of how he enriches us through asking and praying in faith, regardless of the specific outcome. My mother recently passed, and we had prayed for her for several years. She was 79, and it was time for her to go. It wasn't a matter of faith-deficient people praying for her, and she slipped away. It wasn't a thing where really faithful people could pray for her generation after generation, and she could live to be 200. No, God's perfect plan will be executed. But we were enriched by praying for her in faith, even though we would rather that she still be alive. And that is cause for increasing faith, not doubt.