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Single With Children. Moving from Single Guy to Family Leader.

I recall a time back in Montana when Kim(Maggie) said to me, "You're home, but you're not home." She said my mind was always somewhere else. That I'm willing to serve everybody in the community, but not my family. She was right. I was running everywhere--helping everyone--involved in every "church ministry". I had to realize I had moved from "single" guy to family leader. My season of life had changed and I hadn't.
We live in a world today where many men and women never stop being "single" with children. Many children today live in the same home with their biological parents, but they belong to a different family. Everyone in the family belongs to a different family. Even husbands and wives belong to different families. I have even heard of husbands and wives going to different churches. Absurd! It should not be this way. You might ask, "How can family members actually be part of a different family"? Well, the old saying, "Home is where the heart is", is true. You can be physically present, but your heart is elsewhere. Dad's heart can be at work or doing his hobby, or spending time with his buds, or even out helping others. Mom likewise. The kids can be home, but their heart is at the ball field, or with their school friends, or in those video games. Dad, do you even like your wife? Your kids? Do you even know them?
At the close of the Old Testament there is this strange verse:
Malachi 4:5-6
5 “Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the Lord arrives. 6 His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.”
The obvious take away is that it is a good thing for fathers to turn their hearts to their children. Fathers, we need to come home. We need to turn our hearts to our own homes and lead our own tribes. After I had turned my heart back to my home, I remember telling an elder at our church that, "I am still busy, but I am now busy doing the right things". My heart was turned to my home.
I heard a man say the other day that he doesn't know what to expect in retirement, because his wife and he have never spent time together. What a shame!
Fathers, turn your hearts to your own homes. Fathers, your family needs to "see" all the good you are doing. They need to be with you while you walk about and talk about. It's very inconvenient sometimes, but this is how you disciple your own. They must see what life looks like. They must walk with you and talk with you while you live life. You must teach them your own tribal customs. While you sit in your house, while you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7(NLT)
4 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

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